


I love your three-beat song in front of me

by minis0de



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, Loneliness, M/M, Miscommunication, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, dating but they don't know, hwitaek just wants to hold hands, i mean hwitaek is bad at emotions so, not enough angst its all fluffly, some other idols appear cause i love crossovers, wooki cause i love them so much, yuto good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minis0de/pseuds/minis0de
Summary: So later, while laying on his bed, his brain didn't even thought hard about it. His mind seemed like a complete blank sheet, it wasn't that dramatic, it shouldn't have brought him so much headaches and so, he opened the app and typed."I'm opening applications for hand holders. If you see me around campus you better come at me and hold my hand before I faint."
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Lee Hwitaek | Hui, Jo Jinho | Jino/Yeo Changgu | Yeo One, Jung Wooseok/Kang Hyunggu | Kino
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	I love your three-beat song in front of me

**Author's Note:**

> hello . i am back at writing pentagon one shots. this is hundred percent inspired on the fact that nobody in pentagon holds hui's hand except yuto on that one preview one time. we love a good bean!
> 
> title taken from till... (ballad unit) from pentagon :)

Hwitaek has been laying in his room for three hours now, the clock ticking on the wall. He kept scrolling on his phone, till all the apps showed the same notification "You've scrolled all the way down."

_ Well thanks _ , he thought. 

He clicked on Instagram and saw Hyunggu on another date with Wooseok, filming the other boy while he tried to make friends with a random dog on the street.

He smiled for a bit, happy that his younger friend had found someone so good as Wooseok but at the same time something stings in his heart. 

He looked at the next story, a video of them walking, hand holding and Hwitaek thought once more. 

_ How I wished someone was holding my hand right now. _

He sat up, the feeling of loneliness consuming him and the reality around him crushing on top of him. He has been alone for so long he kind of settled with the loneliness, he settled in being Hwitaek who lived alone, who cooked for himself, who watched movies by himself.

He found himself thinking about all the things people did together and that he started doing them alone: going to the movies, having dinner at a restaurant, shopping…

_ Wow, I'm the most lonely person I know.  _

He grabbed his phone again, for the 27482 time that day and opened his chat with Shinwon.

_ am i lonely?  _

**_why are you asking me_ **

_ because im having a existential crisis right now and i need answers _

**_i think the point of existential crisis is not having answers_ **

_ ANSWER ME SHINWON _

**_calm your tits_ **

**_look . you're not lonely you're just … you like to be alone more than the average person_ **

  
  
  
  


Hwitaek looked perplexed at the screen.  _ What is that supposed to mean? _ , he thought, weirdly realising the type of person he has become. 

  
  


_ i just want someone to hold my hand  _

**_im not gonna hold your hand_ **

_ u r mean  _

  
  


**** —

An hour later, after cooking a small meal for himself and sitting in counter, he was still tormented by the conversation with Shinwon. 

He started brainstorming about his group of friends and the people he has met over the years. He doesn't consider himself a shy person, he's quite social and talkative, he made acquaintances with so much people over the short span on his life. 

Yet, nobody wants to hold his hand. 

He texted Hyunggu asking it and the boy said yes but he felt bad for asking someone who was in a relationship to fulfill a selfish need. 

When he touched the food again it was cold. 

_ What a life. _

—

A month has passed since then. 

Nothing changed. He kept asking for someone to hold his hand and everyone looked at him like he had something weird on his face, like his request was so out of mind that nobody would ever help him. 

"Hwitaek, it's an odd request." Shinwon told him, when they were eating burgers at lunch and Shinwon was shoving the whole thing on his mouth. 

"It's not! What's so wrong with holding hands?" 

"It has a bit of a romantic feeling to it."

Hwitaek pouted, drowning his fries in the sauce. "No it doesn't, friends can hold hands all the time." 

"I won't hold your hand." Shinwon deadpanned, pointing a fry to Hwitaek's face.

"I wouldn't want to hold your greasy hand either way." He retorqued back, knowing that Shinwon was probably too afraid to make any type of physical human connection. 

They continued eating, the subject dropping almost immediately. They were in the middle of a heated argument about soda's and which one they liked better when the waiter came by. 

"Is everything okay? Do you need to order something else?" The tall boy asked, smiling lightly and the two boys raised their eyes. 

"Oh, hi Yuto!" Hwitaek said, earning a confused look from Shinwon and a blush from Yuto. 

"Do you know everyone on this damn campus?" Shinwon asked, not answering Yuto's question, who was just standing awkwardly there. 

"He's a junior in my major!" He hit Shinwon in the head and smiled back at Yuto. "I would like a Pepsi please."

Yuto noted it down, turning to Shinwon. 

"Yuto, you seem like a responsible young man, which one is better, Coke or Pepsi?" 

Yuto seemed to think for a bit, his eyebrows frowned in concentration. "Pepsi."

Shinwon groaned and Hwitaek raised his hand to hi five the younger boy. 

"I'll be right back with your order." He said, smiling widely at the boy and turning around.

Shinwon sent him a look, a pierced one, one he named  _ The Shinwon stare,  _ after years of getting it from the boy. 

"What do you want now Shinwon?" 

"He's cute." He just said, still looking at Hwitaek, almost reading him. "Maybe you should ask him to hold your hand." 

Hwitaek just kicked the boy under the table, earning a scream from him and the eyes of everyone in the establishment. 

"He's my junior." He said again, trying to prove a point. 

"And? Changgu was also Jinho's junior when they started dating."

"Look at the comparison you got there. They're practically soulmates." Rolling his eyes, he took his phone out and decided to go back to scrolling on social media, ignoring Shinwon. 

They stayed silent for a bit, only the conversations around them audible and the sound of Shinwon chewing on his burger. 

Yuto showed up a few minutes after, handling the Pepsi to Hwitaek and smiling at him, making a little conversation about how classes were going and work. 

"Thanks for worrying Yuto." Hwitaek said genuinely and Yuto smiled again, going to tend another table next to them. 

"As far as I know…." Shinwon started, looking at Yuto and then back at Hwitaek. "He could be your soulmate."

Hwitaek kicked Shinwon again under the table. 

  
  


—

  
  


Working in the music store has proven both a challenge and a hobby to Hwitaek. In a way he could have interesting customers, people who were genuinely interested in music and learning and teaching. 

On the other way, at most times it was boring. People entered to see something and then disappeared the second after. 

Most of the time he spent cleaning the instruments and even cataloguing them. Sometimes he did homework and when he was feeling inspired, he writes. 

He was working on a song about frogs when he heard a loud noise. Turning his head he saw two familiar faces entering the store. 

Hyunggu was wearing a purple sweater, too big for his tiny frame while the boy next to him held his hand, looking shy. 

"Hi Taek!" He said, running to give a quick hug to Hwitaek, Wooseok just nodding. 

They haven't talked a lot, so Wooseok always had a shy reaction when meeting him. But Hwitaek knew it was just a part of his personality and if Hyunggu liked him enough to walk around so comfortably in public with him, then who was he to deny how much of a good person he was? 

"Hey. What are you doing here?" He wondered, not getting a lot of visits from his friends at work. 

"We were in the neighborhood and thought we came chill a bit with you." 

"Thank God, I was starting to get bored." Hwitaek admitted, rubbing his head. 

The two boys stayed there for a few minutes, talking and asking questions about the various instruments and music devices around them. For some reason the conversation evolved, and at some point the topic of choice was again: Hwitaek's needy request. 

"So you haven't found someone to hold your hand?" Hyunggu asked, taking the whole situation into consideration, and like he always did, thinking hard to find a solution. 

"Maybe you should start going on dates." Wooseok said. 

Hwitaek scoffed. "I tried but all the people I've been with have been so boring. I can't find interesting people to date. Besides that seems like so much work, I just want someone to hold my hand and cuddle me."

"Sounds awfully a lot like a boyfriend to me but okay." Hyunggu deadpanned, looking seriously at Hwitaek who just sent him the middle finger. 

"If you can find me one I like maybe I give you the credit."

"Challenge accepted!" Hyunggu screamed, scaring both boys. "I have an idea, maybe you could like … tweet about it. Ask if someone wants to hold your hand, you're popular on there, someone will answer it." 

"I'm not popular."

"You have 3k followers." Wooseok said, earning a little laugh from Hyunggu. 

Hwitaek reconsidered. "Maybe I am. I shall think about it." 

—

And so that's what he did. He thought about it. He thought about it on work, on school, while studying, during the day and even at night. 

_ It wasn't a bad idea at all.  _

So later, while laying on his bed, his brain didn't even thought hard about it. His mind seemed like a complete blank sheet, it wasn't that dramatic, it shouldn't have brought him so much headaches and so, he opened the app and typed.

  
"I'm opening applications for hand holders. If you see me around campus you better come at me and hold my hand before I faint."

He turned off all of his notifications and decided to put on some random episode on Netflix to distract himself. 

He couldn't have imagined the chaos he would encounter tomorrow. 

—

When he got to class next morning, a girl on his major approached him. 

"Hey, Hwitaek?" 

He looked around, looking for the voice. He knew the girl was named Seunghee, they had worked together on some project alongside other people on his major and he considered their relationship a bit more like cordial than anything. 

So much to his surprise when he turned around to face the girl and she hugged him, patted him on the back and said:

"You're doing amazing!" 

And left. 

He raised an eyebrow, looking around seeing if it was some type of prank or joke but everyone was just dealing with their own problems to notice. 

Which made it even more odd. He doesn't remember the girl being a very affectionate person but well, at least he got a free hug out of it. 

—

Later on the cafeteria, while staring at the glaced pink donut and wondering if he should buy it and then go to the gym right after - although he never stepped his foot there, even despite of having the paid membership - something odd happened again.

He asked for the donut anyways and before he could take his wallet out, someone extended a bill to the cashier and said:

"I'll pay for him."

He looked up and saw Yang Hongseok, a guy from drama club with who he worked on the university play and widened his eyes, not even thinking the other boy remembered him at all. 

"Thanks…? That's not necessary though, I can pay my own food still." Hwitaek laughed nervously, not sure how to react in this type of situation. 

"Dude, let me. You deserve it." Hongseok said, offering him the food and asking if he wanted to join the table with his friends. 

Hwitaek glanced at the clock, realising he was late to the volunteer tutoring he was taking this semester. 

"Sorry, I have to run. Rain check?" 

"I will hold you onto that." Hongseok smiled, disappearing to the table and leaving a confused Hwitaek behind. 

—

The first year he tutored was … well he was nice. Didn't talk much, pretty much did everything he was told too and his doubts were very on point and smart.

Out of everyone he's been assigned, Seonghwa was his favourite. 

Now, Hwitaek was working in some essays while the boy answered the quizz he brought in. Suddenly though, the other boy raises his eyes and looks directly at him, not saying anything, just looking at him like he could read his whole soul. 

"Do you...have any doubt?" Hwitaek asked, raising his eyebrow as the boy usually didn't act like this. 

"No. Just… you are an amazing teacher did you know? Like I usually have so many doubts and questions but you always clear them out and in an efficient way. Seriously, you are amazing." 

Hwitaek cheeks involuntarily got red, the compliment so sincere and genuine that the older boy didn't know how to react. The amount of compliments and kind gestures he has been receiving all day have been … overwhelming to say the least. 

"Thanks Seonghwa. That was sweet."

The other boy just nodded, going back to his usual quiet and shy self. 

—

Later that day, he got a text from a number he hadn't talked in a while. 

**_hey, wanna hang_ **

Which he knew was code to:  _ come by my studio, I'm stuck in a song again.  _

That's how he found himself hanging at Yoongi's studio, late in the afternoon, working on a slow song he couldn't find the right beat for. 

"You can't keep calling me every time you get stuck on a song." Hwitaek jokes, sitting back in the chair enjoying the moment of peaceness. 

"Who else would I call? You're the best producer I know." Yoongi said, his tone always unfazed and serene. 

Hwitaek just hummed. "Can I have your opinions on some of my songs?"

"Sure."

He played 3 new songs he produced recently, one completely finished and another two still very rough around the edges. 

The other boy seemed to enjoy the music but it was always hard to decipher. He's always been more of a though love kind of guy, criticism working better for him than compliments. 

So, when he opened his mouth, Hwitaek didn't expect him to say that: 

"These are the best songs I've ever heard in a while. Seriously Hwitaek, you're too good."

A mixture of gratitude and happiness spread through his body, all the compliments he has been fished with all day had crashed on him now, not understanding what changed in his friends and peers. 

And coming from someone as Yoongi, who always had some criticism and sarcasm in the tip of his tongue, it meant much more to him then he could imagine. 

"Thank you. That means a lot coming from you."

Yoongi smiled, hugging him lightly on the side and patting him hard on the back. "You're too good."

—

Although the first weeks went by in the same manner as this day, it wasn't as overwhelming. But he could start seeing a change in people's interactions with him. They smiled at him, invited him to go to lunch or to hang around with them, or just being around him. 

For the first time, in many years, he felt less alone. 

And that was a foreign feeling he never thought he would have. He didn't consider himself a lonely person, but the shift of attitude on the people around him now proves that maybe, subconsciously, he has been closing himself off on these interactions with people. 

He couldn't deny he enjoyed it, enjoyed the way people seemed to linger next to him now, how people tried to make him feel included and like  _ he mattered. _

_ I never thought I mattered this much. _

So, it wasn't much to his surprise that, on that faithful Thursday, it finally happened. 

He was having a late lunch in the cafeteria, as his class has ended late and he still stayed in to discuss a project with his professor. 

He didn't have any plans for the afternoon, no volunteering, no work. For the first time in a long time, he was free to do whatever it came to mind. 

Yet, he had no idea what he should be doing. 

So he lingered on the cafeteria, eating slowly and enjoying the most calm lunch he has had in months. 

He saw Yuto on the corner of his eyes, entering the building and smiled, waving slightly to see if the boy noticed him. 

Which he did, he smiled too, although his cheeks were flustered and he started approaching the table, slowly. 

"Hey, having lunch by yourself?" Yuto asked, not sitting but lingering on his side. 

Hwitaek smiled. "Yeah! Day off today." He ended up cheering. 

"Do you want company?" 

The smaller boy just nodded but much to his surprise, Yuto sat down on the chair next to him instead of in front of him.

For a while he decided to make small talk, asking Yuto about his classes and his hobbies and getting to know the boy a bit more than only academically wise. He found out Yuto played the guitar - which it's useful for their music related major - but he also took an interest in photography and video games.

"I'm too old for video games." Hwitaek jokes, thinking about the time Hyunggu tried to make him play Mario Kart and failing miserably. 

"You're not that old… I can teach you if you want."

"Okay, let me finish eating and we do it now, okay?" Hwitaek dared to say, realising he invited himself into Yuto's dorm. 

But the other boy smiled, nodding.

They got up and Hwitaek asked the tall boy to lead his way, happy to be hanging out with someone. Then he felt it, a hand next to his and Yuto's figure so close to him that he was getting almost overwhelmed about it.

Then, for some reason Hwitaek can't explain, he felt a hand slide next to his and hold it, pushing him and leading the way somewhere. He looked up, eyes widened and his cheeks blushing hard, only to be confronted by a shy Yuto, who was walking almost ahead of him, the blush almost creeping to his neck. 

"That's okay? I saw you wanted someone to hold hands…" 

Hwitaek smiled internally, his heart flipping and thumping hard. After weeks of everyone being nice to him, this was exactly what he needed, what he craved. 

"Yes, it's very okay." Hwitaek finished, walking alongside Yuto now, both of them flustered. 

—

Yuto's dorm was cleaner than he remembered his own dorm being back in the day. Bed was made, there were no clothes or papers shattered in the ground and it even smelled nice. 

"How do you keep your dorm like this? Mine was a mess." 

Yuto laughed, still holding onto his hand. "My roommate's boyfriend likes it clean so he does it for me."

Hwitaek just nodded his head, saying  _ ahhh,  _ like it all made sense. 

They sat down on the ground next to his bed and Yuto turned on his console to show Hwitaek all of his games and skills. 

The whole time they played there, Yuto trying to teach and the older boy failing miserably at learning, Hwitaek felt a type of feeling he hasn't in a long time. A sort of reassuring warm feeling spreading on his chest, having someone, especially Yuto, sitting next to him, so close and enjoying themselves, their company being enough. 

He had to admit the hand holding thing helped. 

He really loved holding hands. 

—

"So, you're basically dating him?" Jinho asked, a Friday night where they were hanging out.

Hwitaek almost spilled his drink. 

"Am not!"

"You go to lunch together, you go to concerts together and you're always hanging out at his smelly dorm." Changgu added, while in the process of feeding his boyfriend disgustingly. 

"We're both music majors! We hang out in the same rooms and we have similar music interests what's wrong with that?" Hwitaek asked, in his high pitch tone. 

"Still I see no reason for you to hang out with him in his dorm so much." Changgu's friend, Yanan, commented while stuffing a big pizza slice into his mouth. 

"Sorry, I don't take opinions for someone who likes pineapple on pizza." 

"Take that back!" Yanan yelled, getting up and earning everyone's attention in the restaurant. 

Hwitaek rolled his eyes. Over the past couple of months he and Yuto have become impossibly close. They ate together a lot of times and the younger boy picked him up from classes to hang out or sometimes just study together. He even took Yuto to the studio and the younger was teaching him how to play guitar. 

It was nice, he admitted. Having someone genuinely liking his company and making efforts to be with him. 

It helped that Yuto was just the cutest boy. Over the past weeks he learned he likes hugs and cuddles, so much that one time they fell asleep watching a movie and Yuto creeped on him like a koala. 

Yuto was also very kind, he always helped random people on the street and even almost cried when he saw a puppy wandering confused on the park. 

_ Maybe I am screwed.  _ Hwitaek thought. 

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Jinho asked, smirking and Hwitaek threw him a pointed look. 

"I was definitely not. Nope."

"You think he's cute." Jinho continued and Hwitaek continued his deathly stare. 

"I most definitely not."

"He's kind of hot. He goes to the gym did you know?" Yanan looked at them, everyone's eyes widening. 

"He does what?" Hwitaek asked, his voice getting louder by the second. 

"Yeah, he always posts it on Instagram." 

Hwitaek swallowed the air, looking at his food like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

"You're thinking about him shirtless." Changgu smiled, everyone in the table laughing loudly. 

"Shut up!" Hwitaek yelled, trying to avert the eyes from him. 

Thankfully the conversation shifted to a story Yanan really had to desperately share. But it didn't stop Hwitaek to stop thinking about Yuto, and what his relationship with him was. 

—

For the first time in a few months, they were hanging out in Hwitaek's house. They were sitting around the coffee table in Hwitaek's living room and studying together. 

The good part? Yuto was holding his hand again. 

On one hand it was good. Hwitaek feels himself relax every time he holds Yuto hands, like a wave of endorphins spreads on his body and all the mechanisms activating. 

In the other hand, he couldn't stop thinking about his friends teasing him about dating Yuto without knowing. 

He looked up and saw the other boy so focused on his work that he looked endearing to say the least. His tongue was picking out in concentration, his hand writing fiercely the words. Hwitaek was ready to coo at the mere sight of his junior working. 

_ What's wrong with me? _

"Do I have something on my face?" Yuto asked, not lifting the eyes from his work but smiling knowingly. 

Hwitaek blushed immediately, not believe he got caught like this. 

"No, just… you know."

"Yeah yeah, right." Yuto mocked, still smiling.

"Aish! Don't mock me!" Hwitaek hit him slightly and Yuto smiled, pretending to be hurt. 

"Do you want to go have lunch at the dining?" 

"Don't you work there? You should be sick of it." 

Yuto laughed. "I work there so at least I know the food is good. We could eat like a greasy hamburger and milkshakes." 

"That's disgusting. I'm in." Hwitaek joked and Yuto laughed, his loud high pitched laugh that made Hwitaek's inside twist. 

"It's a date." Yuto said. 

—

Yuto had an habit of sitting next to him every time they went somewhere. Even if the table was a small one, like the one they were sharing, he still made sure to sit next to him instead of in front of him. 

Hwitaek suspected it was so he could hold his hand easier.

He wasn't complaining. 

“So, Jinho came and recorded the demo for me. It was honestly a blessing ‘cause he has the voice of an angel!” Hwitaek kept telling, turning to Yuto while he speak. The other boy couldn’t stop smiling, always so endeared by everything the older man did or said.

“He’s a good singer yes. It’s actually funny how well he hides it.”

“Right?” Hwitaek said, mouth covered with food. They both laughed at that display, Hwitaek murmuring a little  _ sorry.  _

“You have…” Yuto started, nervously. “You have something on your lips.”

Hwitaek cocked an eyebrow. “Here?” He tried, cleaning the outer corner of his lip. 

Yuto made a pained expression before grabbing the napkin and leaning forward. He cleaned Hwitaek’s lip with it and smiled. 

“There. All gone. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.” 

And he got up and left.

Hwitaek’s heart was close to leave his chest too. He managed to block pretty fast the way Yuto had mentioned it being a date earlier but he couldn’t hide anymore. Everything from the way Yuto talked, the way he acted, the gestures...all so small but so there, it was a clear date from the start and Hwitaek took so long to realize.

Even longer to realize the most important thing of the night. Quite possibly of all his life.

_ You’re being dramatic.  _ His brain said.

So he did, what he always does, when he’s being over the top over something. 

He texted Shinwon.

_ oh my god shinwon i like yuto _

**_bro am i supposed to be surprised by this_ **

_ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT SURPRISED _

_ I REALISED IT NOW _

**_took you long enough_ **

**_damn i lost that bet now_ **

**_there’s no way im giving changgu the money_ **

_ STOP BETTING ON MY LIFE _

_ also changgu is on this?  _

_ disappointed but not surprised _

**_hwitaek this hardly seems something to freak out about_ **

**_so you like yuto?_ ** **_kiss him_ ** **_suck his dick_ ** **_ask him on a date_ **

_ should i tell him? _

__

**_kid_ ** **_he’s all heart eyes for u_ **

  
  


“Hey! Someone wrote  _ Lisa stinks  _ on the bathroom. I don’t know who Lisa is but I feel bad for them.” Yuto said, sitting next to Hwitaek again, seemingly unbothered by the air surrounding them.

Granted he didn’t have a life realization like the other boy had.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the implications of it, the consequences of his feelings. He had to think rationally about all of this and all of it told him that, at some point, in some hidden part of his brain, he knew, objectively, that Yuto must nurture some feelings for him, otherwise why would he hold his hand so much, and always find excuses to be with him, and constantly making him feel happy and loved and…

_ Oh My God, Yuto likes me. _

**_congratulations captain obvious_ **

**_took you long enough_ **

"Hey, you okay…?" Yuto asked, getting closer in the booth they were still sat at and smiled at him. 

Hwitaek thought that if he doesn't stop smiling so kindly he might implode. 

"I'm fine, just.. we should get going. How much is it?" 

Yuto then giggled and got up, grabbing both of their jackets. "Don't worry, already taken care of." 

"You payed?" Hwitaek asked incredulous, his brain constantly screaming the word date. 

Yuto just smiled and extended his hand. Hwitaek, who has now been hanging with him for a while knew what that was code for. 

So he grabbed his hand and let himself being pulled over to the road, the cold air hitting him. 

"So...I was thinking we could watch a movie? The dorms are close so…" Yuto started. 

Hwitaek looked distress, he had to admit. His heart was racing off his chest, the linked hand with Yuto sweating and the thought that Yuto got more handsomer and tall and built was killing him alive. 

"If you want! You don't have to, am not pressuring you or anything…" Yuto tried to fix it, backtrack immediately. 

"No!" Hwitaek said too quickly, mentally slapping himself for having an emotional baggage so big. "I mean… I would love that. Let's do it." 

Yuto smiled wide this time, leading them into the dorms and telling Hwitaek the story on how he almost got kicked out of the library for something he didn't do. 

-

"Are you sure?" Hyunggu asked. Hwitaek could see him and Wooseok in the little couch of the music shop he worked in. They had come by and visit him again but he was so busy cataloguing the new instruments he just sent them to rest a bit. 

He was trying to be as fast as he could but the conversation they were having caught his attention. 

"Absolutely. He has a boyfriend and it's either older or a total weirdo, cause he doesn't want to tell me." Wooseok said, serious. 

"He's so shy, it sounds odd that he found a boyfriend by himself and doesn't want to tell you about it." 

"I'm telling you!" Wooseok said, gesturing with his hands. "I even asked him about it and he smiled all shy and said  _ I don't want to rush into things and scaring him _ " 

"He's such a good bean." Hyunggu smiled. 

Hwitaek thought it was as good as time to interrupt the task he had in mind and go speak with them. 

"Hey guys, who are you gossiping about?" 

Hyunggu rolled his eyes. "Nosy aren't we?" 

"I'm a creature with curiosity needs." Hwitaek simply answered, sitting in front of them. 

"It's my roommate." Wooseok started. "He has a boyfriend and doesn't tell me who it is! We have been friends for a while it makes me a bit sad he doesn't trust me." 

Hyunggu seemed lost in thought for a minute before interrupting both of them and getting up quickly. 

"Hey! Hwitaek might know him, he's a music major." 

"The roommate or the boyfriend?" 

"Both maybe." Hyunggu laughed. "Babe, what's his full name again?" 

"Adachi Yuto rings some bell for you?" Wooseok said and Hwitaek frooze immediately. 

_ Yuto had a boyfriend?,  _ he thought.  _ No, they must be talking about some other Yuto. Not mine.  _

"Tall, Japanese, has this intimidating aura but it's actually a real softball?" Hwitaek asked, trying not to give away his newly discovered feelings about the boy in question. 

"Couldn't have said better. So...do you know who he's dating?" Wooseok asked, innocently. 

_ Wish he was dating me.  _ Hwitaek thought. 

"No, sorry guys. I know him but I've never seen him with anyone."

"Bummer.." Hyunggu said, thinking out loud. "What about you Taek, we came here for you. Feeling less lonely?" 

Hwitaek smiled, despite his mind betraying him. The thought of Yuto having a boyfriend, his Yuto, had truly made a moss on his day. He wasn't going to make it all about him though, Hyunggu and Wooseok had come along to visit him and know about him and that enough was a good distraction. 

"Now that you mention it...I definitely have been noticing some change. People are talking with me more and inviting me to things. It's been nice." Hwitaek admitted it, the weird sensation that has been going around his life recently. 

"Good, that means it worked." Wooseok said and Hwitaek sent him a questioningly look. 

"What worked?" 

"Nothing worked!" Hyunggu yelled suddenly, looking at Wooseok all panicked. "Wooseok is just playing." 

Hwitaek, who granted has known Hyunggu for a long time and knew exactly when the boy was playing some sort of trick or when he has been hiding something crossed his arms and sat back. 

"Hyunggu, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Hyunggu said, suddenly too defensive, his tone getting higher by the second. 

He sneaked a glance at Wooseok who was the trying to hide himself. The boy was tall so the whole scenario was as ridiculous as one can imagine. 

"Hyunggu, spill." Hwitaek threatened.

"Okay look… I might have asked around for people to be nice to you and try to include you in things because… because I know how easily you can isolate yourself and I didn't want it to happen so I just pushed a bit. But" Hyunggu was babbling, fast, but he couldn't stop now. "It was mostly you! You opened yourself to people for the first time and it worked and everyone can now see how much of a good person you are." 

Hwitaek was baffled by the information just handled to him. This weird feeling on his chest was making him panic, close to tears. So much information got handled to him today and, despite of Hyunggu trying to justify himself, all he could think was. 

_ He doesn't like me. _

_ Yuto has a boyfriend. _

_ He probably heard Hyunggu tell people to be nice to me and just went along with it. _

_ Of course he doesn't like me. Why would anyone ever like me. _

"If you excuse me, I have some instruments to label." Hwitaek said, getting up before his emotions took control of his body. 

"Hwitaek…" Hyunggu started but Hwitaek just waved him. 

"No worries, I'm fine. I just have a lot to do so if you excuse me…" 

He practically ran to the staff room, as gracefully as he could and sat on the ground, thinking about all these times people had been nice to him and invited him and how stupid he was to open up to these people. 

Nobody truly cared for him, it was all some sort of act or debt they have to Hyunggu because he told them too. 

Not even Yuto, who he thought had genuinely feelings for him was in this. This whole time, it was all just a favour and he couldn't believe how stupid he had been.

He saw his phone light up with a text. He went and checked and immediately regrets it. Full of texts from Hyunggu apologising was a specific one that hurt the most. 

**Yuto♡: let's hang out? i miss you**

Hwitaek felt a tear going out on his cheek. He wasn't going to cry about this. So he texted a quick  _ Am busy _ and got up, trying to distract himself with work. 

It proved to be a failed task as he couldn't stop thinking about how fooled and heartbroken he felt. 

But everything was going to be fine. He was used to be alone, has been for awhile before all of this started. He could handle it again. 

-

"Open the door idiot!" He heard Shinwon's voice on the other side of the door. He didn't have enough energy to get off the couch or to even yell back so he just let Shinwon knock on the door a little bit more. 

Much to his surprised, when he thought he was already free, he heard his door open. 

"What the fuck?" He said, seeing Shinwon entering the house. 

"I have a spare key." Shinwon just said. 

"Then why did you knock so many times?"

"To annoy you of course." Then Shinwon proceed to smack him on the face. "This is for ghosting me." 

"I didn't ghost you. I was just too tired to text." 

"For three weeks?" 

Hwitaek shrugged, moving to the couch and laying there, face facing the cushions. 

"Hwitaek, this is not healthy. Hyunggu has been mad worried about you and really sad about you being mad at him." Shinwon said, while he sat on the couch and tried to pet Hwitaek's head. 

"He should've thought about that before doing what he did."

He felt a smack on the head again. "What was that for?" He yelled, caressing his head. 

"For being an idiot! Again!" 

Hwitaek got up the couch and sat on the floor (read: plopped on the floor). He sighed loudly. 

"Look, that hurt okay? Really hurt."

"As your best friend I should side with you." Shinwon started, sitting next to him again. "But, whatever he did wrong, had a bit of love masked in there didn't it? He loves you, he cares about. He didn't force anyone to be friends with you, he just told people to try a little hard with you, that you took time on getting to know. But that it was worth it." 

"He did?" 

"Yeah he did. And look, it worked. Hongseok has been texting me non stop asking about you, Seunghee sent you a bunch of messages and even Yoongi asked Jinho where have you been." 

"That makes it look like I disappeared for 100 years. I've been going to classes and work." Hwitaek justified. 

"And running away from people." Shinwon ended up saying. "Yuto asked me if everything was okay cause you have been ghosting him real hard." 

And there it was. The subject he didn't want to touch, ever again. 

"Can we not talk about that?" 

"What happened?" Shinwon pushed again, draping his arm on Hwitaek's shoulder and bringing him close. "Hwitaek, you're my best friend. Talk with me."

He sighed. He missed Shinwon these days, missed the constantly flood of memes and jokes, the way he lights up his days and how he always seems to know when it's time to talk. 

"He is roommate with Wooseok. And I heard him say how Yuto has a boyfriend and doesn't want to tell him who he is." 

Shinwon hummed, nodding. "Did Yuto say that?"

"Apparently. Also has me thinking on how he has probably been nice to me all this time because of this stupid thing Hyunggu said to people. On how he had a boyfriend and here I was, having all of these feelings for him. I've been a fool, a really huge fool."

"Have you asked him?" 

"What?" 

Shinwon laughed. "Have you asked him about that boyfriend?" 

"God no! It would probably make me too sad."

"So…your solution is to ghost him for the rest of your life and avoid any confrontation?" 

"It sounded better in my head I had to admit." Hwitaek said and they both laughed at the idiocy of the whole situation. "I have to talk with him, don't I?" 

Shinwon made a weird noise, something that mimic a siren. Hwitaek just laughed again, and laid his head on Shinwon's shoulder, thinking deeply about how unhealthy he has been dealing with the whole situation. 

Maybe it was a rush decision to hide himself from the world, but both he and Shinwon knew he probably needed this time. 

And truth is, the past three weeks had helped him a lot. Realising how he has to come clean about his feelings for Yuto, cause they were consuming him. How, even in the opportunity that Yuto has a boyfriend, he should be honest with him cause the time they shared, the friendship they had mattered too. And he couldn't lie to a friend. 

How he had to apologise for Hyunggu. He knew his intentions were gold and that the younger cared, sometimes too much, for him. 

"I'm going to apologise to Hyunggu." 

"And talk with Yuto." Shinwon added, squeezing his shoulders. 

"Yeah, that too." 

They stayed in silence for a bit before Shinwon said this: 

"It just… this whole thing sounds weird to me 'cause I really thought he had the hots for you." 

Hwitaek smiled. Glad to know he could joke about this now. "Yeah, me too. Maybe people are just too nice." 

"Or you're the boyfriend and you don't know." 

-

"Hwitaek." 

Hwitaek knew Yuto got off at 10pm on Thursdays so he waited outside the diner. He didn't know how else to approach the whole thing, didn't have any speech or lines prepared. He just waited there. 

It was probably worth at some degree. Yuto looked nice. He had his uniform still on, but was wearing this thick glasses and his hair was a bit shorter now. He looked breathless seeing Hwitaek and honestly, the older was a bit breathless himself too. 

"Hi… Long time no see uh?" Hwitaek tried to joke but the next thing he felt was a body almost tackling him and engulfing him in a sweet, bear hug. 

He tried to hug back with all the strength he could muster. He felt his heart starting to beat fast, the mere touch of Yuto's body, the warmth he irradiated. The months they had together were enough for Hwitaek to feel so strongly about this boy and he couldn't not be sincere to him about it. Even if it meant losing him at the end. 

"I missed you so much." He heard Yuto said on his ear and his whole body trembled. "I don't know what you've been going through or if I did something but… I'm here now." 

Hwitaek's heart was breaking. He was too good, one of the best people he has ever met. How could he have not fallen for him?

How wasn't the world madly in love with him?

"Yuto, I have to confess something." 

Yuto let go in their embrace and stood there. The wind of the night was breezing through them and the only light shining was from the lamp next to diner. 

Yuto looked so good under the moonlight, and it all made things even harder for Hwitaek, who could already feel the lyrics on his head being written about boys and starts and boys who shined brighter than any star in the galaxy. 

"First, I'm sorry for ghosting you. I have been dealing with some things." 

"That's fine." Yuto said. 

"It's not. I should've have said something. I just… I found out my friend Hyunggu - you might know him, he's dating your roommate…"

"You're friends with Wooseok's boyfriend?" 

"Yeah, not the point. The point is that he like… I confessed to him about how lonely I was a few months ago and he, behind my back, asked or pushed people or something like that to be nice to me. And I discovered that and it broke me cause everyone who was making me happy was now trying to be nice for me because he asked and I felt so bad. I know you probably heard that and that's maybe why you tried to come to be that day at lunch and…"

"What? I-I.. did not…"

"Let me finish please." Hwitaek continued, feeling his voice getting strained. "And that's not really what I came to talk to you about. Yuto, I'm sorry if I ever like...tried to come at you or something. I know you have a boyfriend because Wooseok has told me and I didn't know back in the day. I...God this is so hard. Yuto I have feelings for you, like romantic feelings. And I hate to have them because I don't want to get in between you and your boyfriend, that's the last thing I want! I just really would love if we could try to be friends despite all of this and I think I should be real with you. That's why I'm saying this now." 

Yuto looked puzzled. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He started moving with his hands and Hwitaek felt terrible for dropping this whole information on him, so fast. 

"I'm sorry. I should get going… I'll give you time. If you don't want to talk with me ever again, I'll accept it."

He was ready to go away when he felt a hand on his wrist pushing him. When he looked up Yuto was few inches away from him, his eyes were closed. He felt one of his hands coming to his waist and the other cupped his face. 

Hwitaek breathed deeply. "Yuto…"

"You're the boyfriend. I was going to ask you that day where you told me you were busy. Then you didn't answer me anymore and I thought you knew about my feelings and didn't like me back…" The boy said, his eyes still closed. 

Hwitaek laughed, but it was a relieved one. "Wait, why did you told Wooseok you had a boyfriend then?" 

"I mean, I was sure you would say yes. We had been going on dates and holding hands the whole time." 

"So those were dates!" Hwitaek said, moving his hands to Yuto's neck. The other boy opened his eyes now, looking down to Hwitaek, his cheeks acquiring a red tint. 

"I'm so embarrassed, I thought you knew that."

Hwitaek went back in his head, about all the times he and Yuto hung out outside school or each other works. How even in those moments the atmosphere between them was so much warmer and different from hanging out with his friends. 

How he should've known. 

"I know it now." Hwitaek said, bringing Yuto even closer. "I'm sorry… I'm not very good with emotions."

Yuto laughed, so close to his face he could feel it. Could feel all the lightness on his chest, how he came here for a reason and ended up leaving with something so good, even better. 

"Clearly. We can work on that." Yuto joked. 

"As boyfriends?" 

"Do you still have to ask?" 

"With me? Yes. Absolutely." Hwitaek finished, their faces so close to each other that the natural progression was kissing now. 

So they did it. 

Yuto's lips were soft, delicate, just like him. Everything from the way he was touching him, to the way he was kissing, felt so dear and slow. So beautifully written, a melody only the two of them could hear, always on beat. 

He found himself smiling into the kiss and felt Yuto smile too, bring him closer. 

"I don't think I have ever been this happy." Hwitaek said and Yuto just hugged him tightly, lifting him off his feet.

-

Hyunggu was looking at him with his puppy eyes. Despite Hwitaek had cleared things to him, and even say he was okay with the situation now, he could clearly feel the nerves on Hyunggu's position. 

"Relax kid, I'm not mad at you anymore."

Hyunggu breathed in. "Logically I know that but… I'm legit afraid of you." 

Hwitaek laughed. "What are you afraid of again?" 

"You ghosting me again for three weeks." 

"I'm bad with emotions!" 

"He is. I offered to cook his favourite dish and he cried for a whole hour." Hwitaek heard Yuto come by, sitting next to him and placing his arm behind his back.

"That's not fair, don't embarrass me in front of my friends." Hwitaek said but still leaned to kiss him on the cheek. Yuto just smiled. 

"I never thought I would know someone as disgusting as those two. Then you came along." Shinwon said, pointing at Wooseok and Hyunggu and then at Yuto and Hwitaek. "Again, why did I end up third-wheeling?" 

"You're the one that invited us." Wooseok said and everyone at the table laughed. 

The conversation quickly turned around the table but Hwitaek couldn't quite listen to it. The feeling of Yuto's hand on his waist and the way he cared about him all the time. 

He liked Yuto so much. And he liked being around everyone else and he liked how he had friends in university he could count on and hang out with and… 

He didn't feel lonely anymore. The feeling of loneliness that consumed him and threatened him had faded away long ago. Now it was replaced by so many good moments like this one, moments that his brain has come to connect with happiness. 

And there was Yuto. Sweet thoughtful and his boyfriend. Who always takes care of him when he forgets to take care of himself, who cooks and hugs him and kisses him so tenderly, that makes him forget about how hard is it out there. 

He doesn't feel lonely anymore. 

And he could get used to this feeling.

"You okay?" Yuto whispered on his ear. 

Hwitaek looked at him. "I am now." 

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading ! :)
> 
> (dropping my [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/minis0de) here! if you ever want to contribute)


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